It is hard to understand compulsive tasks that a child finds comforting.
It is hard wired into the soul and sometimes acts like a thief of time, and stamina.
Sometimes I have to choose between tasks that most people find easy to complete.
Most days I become a ring master of personal needs that have work arounds, and
there is no way to articulate why I made anger and frustration for those who are waiting for me, counting on me...
Organization lives under the chaos around me. It is overwhelming as I keep order for the activity,study,craft, and contact with others.
So what if there is not an inch of shelf space empty. Rocks,minerals,toys,coins,stamps,marbles, jewelry,comic books,....all part of a subconcious collection. The worth is the same as the value of my soul, and if I could and I will try, to remain open to watching the compulsive child live his way into helping other people like his self.
I just keep begging pardon for my tardiness by explaining that it is an investment for the future.
As the mother of a full inclusion student who has various "disabilities" due to having spina bifida I want to share what I have experienced in order to keep my child in the general education population of students. Most importantly his reaction about children and young adults he has come in contact with who are not in the general ed, but in special day classes. There are many ways to make changes and end discrimination against those with abilities different than what is perceived as normal.
Monday, June 25, 2012
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Photo of Venus Transit
Gimme Shelter but Don't Fence Me In
"Do I look OK or do I look like I am frying?" One of my favorite quirky things to say to someone when asked this super silly question was,
"Well, I can almost see right through you so I doubt if anyone will even detect your presence."
This always made people stop and stare for a good 3-5 minutes followed by a huge roar of laughter.
Remaining "under the radar" is not something that today's teen thrill seekers have mastered. It is not even on the basic agenda. This may not be a good trend for the art of staying out of trouble and keeping one another safe.
One trend that I find repulsive is "cutting". It is the action of using a sharp object (knife,glass fragment, razors, etc.) to make cuts on the arms, legs, torso, or other body parts. Some kids do it enough to form big thick ugly scars that will remain for life. The claim of addiction is weak. I was confronted by one teen who we had an intervention for. She said,
"you have no idea what it is like because YOU HAVE NEVER CUT!"
I did everything to keep from losing it. I held my breath as she stared me down. I finally cracked and screeched back at her,
"Wow! Of course, you know this to be true? I have never cut? You are wrong, I have cut myself many times. It was never on purpose because it hurts and why would I hurt myself on purpose?
"Huh?"
"The accusation of having no empathy because, I HAVE NEVER CUT IS WRONG!"
She said no more and turned away from me. I thought, how cheap to blast me with such accusations and then not even try to argue over it. I felt cheated, and vexed.
"You are addicted to self inflicted pain and mutilating your flesh for the right of passage that I cannot claim?'
There was a pause, then she spoke,
"Did you have fun when you were in high school? Your generation got to play out all of your rushes in the most deviant ways. You drank in bars at age 14, you roamed to all kinds of concerts, you got to take E and LSD, and smoked herbs,cigarettes, you had it all. You cannot even pretend that you did not love every second of fun you had!"
I could not understand what it all has to do with cutting?
"All of those things are dangerous."
She read my mind and then walked away.
My provocative statement to parents is about discovery to replace experimentation with chemicals in some way. Because our children are cutting and strangling to feel high we must fill in the large gaping hole we left smoking.
It appears that our children can almost see right through us.
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