What we may never know is why...

The statement that President Obama made in a speech after the Aurora, CO mass shooting gave me some insight about how empty the words of a politician can be. He made known that whoever is guilty will be punished. He stated that they were gathering as much information about the suspect as possible. He then went on to say that what we will never know is why a person chooses to terrorize fellow human beings.

In listening to his voice this statement struck a chord in me. Please know that I in no way condone the use of terror and murder. In fact I am against the way that President Obama is using the drone technology to kill people. I understand he is proud of the high number of Al Qaeda leaders that have been targeted and killed by drone strikes and special force strikes. There are humans who have been terrorized and killed by drones who are not terrorists. The fact is that we the people do not know who is eliminated by proxy. Civilians have died, men, women, and children. A killing machine with no emotion or self regulation that terrorizes my fellow human beings.

Is it acceptable to let our military continue this practice in light of what it was like to have a human act as a machine with no off button in his soul? I think the suspect of what happened last Saturday in Aurora may have tried to express with his action what it must be like for people living outside of the U.S. to be terrorized. No chance to get away from a relentless remote controlled machine.

Mr. President Obama with all due respect to you how can you condone what you condemn about terror and killing? At some point it all must stop and we must be willing to embrace God's will. I was taught that forgiveness, grace, and peace is the truth that holds justice. Use the same ideology to end the killing that goes on in the name of the U.S. Focus on funneling the money from the military to education, housing and food for Americans. Use military to stop things like the epidemic of rape in the Congo. Find it in your heart to end drone attacks. Put an end to the selling of automatic weapons and ammunition in the U.S.

My heart goes out to all of the human beings that lived and died through what happened in that movie theater. No matter what is done it will never bring back the life you knew prior to such tragedy. You are all being told to not let it define who you are. I hope that it does define that there is NO justification for imposing such terror for any reason, ever.

Kooky kittens! Phoenix the Circus Cat and Oso Shady his shadow! They are 9 weeks old and they have won my heart.

They were from a good animal home. We searched in the shelters and saw many cuties. It has become a kind of racket as to everything they do which includes micro chipping and neutering once they weigh two pounds. These two will be indoors we have no outside space for them here.

It was so hard losing my Muddy who was almost 17 years old. I was seriously sad. I have lost cats and loved them dearly but this was very different. I still get all teary-eyed if I start thinking about my last minutes with him. I know I should feel happy and blessed about having all the years with such a beautiful friend. I hope he approves of these babies. some how I think he does.

Muddy Mudskipper

July 28 1995-June 12,2012

I am sorry that we are late....

It is hard to understand compulsive tasks that a child finds comforting.
It is hard wired into the soul and sometimes acts like a thief of time, and stamina.
Sometimes I have to choose between tasks that most people find easy to complete.
Most days I become a ring master of personal needs that have work arounds, and
there is no way to articulate why I made anger and frustration for those who are waiting for me, counting on me...

Organization lives under the chaos around me. It is overwhelming as I keep order for the activity,study,craft, and contact with others.
So what if there is not an inch of shelf space empty. Rocks,minerals,toys,coins,stamps,marbles, jewelry,comic books,....all part of a subconcious collection. The worth is the same as the value of my soul, and if I could and I will try, to remain open to watching the compulsive child live his way into helping other people like his self.  

I just keep begging pardon for my tardiness by explaining that it is an investment for the future.

Photo of Venus Transit

On June 5,2012 there was a Transit of Venus (that is the little dot passing the sun) and the people who will view the next have not been born yet!

Gimme Shelter but Don't Fence Me In

"Do I look OK or do I look like I am frying?" One of my favorite quirky things to say to someone when asked this super silly question was,

"Well, I can almost see right through you so I doubt if anyone will even detect your presence."

This always made people stop and stare for a good 3-5 minutes followed by a huge roar of laughter.

Remaining "under the radar" is not something that today's teen thrill seekers have mastered. It is not even on the basic agenda. This may not be a good trend for the art of staying out of trouble and keeping one another safe.

One trend that I find repulsive is "cutting". It is the action of using a sharp object (knife,glass fragment, razors, etc.) to make cuts on the arms, legs, torso, or other body parts. Some kids do it enough to form big thick ugly scars that will remain for life. The claim of addiction is weak. I was confronted by one teen who we had an intervention for. She said,

"you have no idea what it is like because YOU HAVE NEVER CUT!"

I did everything to keep from losing it. I held my breath as she stared me down. I finally cracked and screeched back at her,

"Wow! Of course, you know this to be true? I have never cut?  You are wrong, I have cut myself many times. It was never on purpose because it hurts and why would I hurt myself on purpose?

"Huh?"

"The accusation of having no empathy because, I HAVE NEVER CUT IS WRONG!"

She said no more and turned away from me. I thought, how cheap to blast me with such accusations and then not even try to argue over it. I felt cheated, and vexed.

"You are addicted to self inflicted pain and mutilating your flesh for the right of passage that I cannot claim?'

There was a pause, then she spoke,

"Did you have fun when you were in high school? Your generation got to play out all of your rushes in the most deviant ways. You drank in bars at age 14, you roamed to all kinds of concerts, you got to take E and LSD, and smoked herbs,cigarettes, you had it all. You cannot even pretend that you did not love every second of fun you had!"

I could not understand what it all has to do with cutting?

"All of those things are dangerous."

She read my mind and then walked away.

My provocative statement to parents is about discovery to replace  experimentation with chemicals in some way. Because our children are cutting and strangling to feel high we must fill in the large gaping hole we left smoking.

It appears that our children can almost see right through us.